If you’ve ever gotten into a fight with a significant other (and who hasn’t), your Google search may have at some point led you to an article or a quiz on the ‘The Five Love Languages.’ This psychological study published over 10 years ago by Dr. Gary Chapman has placed a strong emphasis on showing that we ALL have DIFFERENT ways of feeling loved and that oftentimes how we feel loved is very different from what makes other people feel loved. Understanding these differences and making active efforts to tap into our significant other’s love language can help build stronger and healthier bonds.
Just like love languages are important in our external relationships they are just as important for knowing how to love ourselves.
We spend an obscene amount of time with ourselves which means that if we want to build a healthy bond between our conscious and our ego we need to invest in this empathic tool to feel more aligned and at peace so that we can make better life decisions.
So what are the five love languages to self-love?
Words of Affirmation
In this self-love language, words and sentimental statements are everything. Positive self-talk, gratitude towards yourself and empowering affirmations are greatly valued by people with this love language.
- Making a list of your strengths and successes
- Speaking kindly to yourself (empathy)
- Journaling and mantras
- Speaking your ideal future into existence
- Little pep talks
In a relationship setting, a person with this love language values undivided attention from their partner. That means NO phone, NO TV, NO distractions. In a personal setting this person values uninterrupted alone time to nurture their being.
- Meditation and introspection
- Transformational breathing
- Engaging in a creative passion
- Taking yourself on a date
- Reading a book or watching something
- Enjoying a warm beverage and blanket
- Spending time in nature
- Rest, recovery, sleep
People with this self-love language thrive by celebrating and honouring the body. In summary, that means participating in actions that make the body feel good.
- Yoga, exercising, dancing, Zumba… etc.
- Massage or spa day
- Bath salts, warm showers
- Skin care and grooming
- Pampering sessions
Acts of Service
In this self-love language people find a sense of inner satisfaction from doing tasks that need to be completed or things that have been neglected but serve their well-being.
- Cleaning their room
- Making your bed
- Taking the trash out
- Doing laundry
- Meal prep
- Scheduling, planning, organizing, and delegating
- Attending therapy or coaching
- Focusing on taking actions inside of values to live a more intentional life
In this self-love language people enjoy getting themselves gifts or making gifts that spark personal joy.
- Spending money on hobbies
- Shopping for things that you love (in your means)
- Going on a trip or holiday
- Restaurants that spark the taste buds
- Buying a course or personal development book (like our new EQ course for beginners – shameless self-promo)
- Using arts and crafts to make something (ex. Meditation colouring book, bird house, dream catcher… etc.)
To an extent, we all share these self-love languages but it pays to pay attention to what truly sparks our soul and makes us feel cared for and ultimately loved.
What’s your self-love language? Share what makes you feel loved in the comment section below.